So Lamb of God stopped by San Diego in May and — of course — I wasn’t going miss to the show. This being my 3rd LoG show, I was happy to know what I was in for: great music, a great audience, and some heavy duty moshing.

Now, I managed to set myself up with a good spot on the floor and got hyped as the show started. As the night continued, the circle pits formed behind me, and I received the customary small, but harmless pushback. Like I stated, I’m a metal dude; I expect a little pushback. However, things suddenly cranked to 11 a little earlier than expect...
 
As “Inherit the Earth" began, I felt a punch to the back of my head. A punch! I felt like Robert Downey Jr. in the Sherlock Holmes films, analyzing the situation and properly thinking of a way to respond. After a second of thought, I turned around to see a fellow who looked like Seth Rogen, had he gone bald at 20 years old, and I immediately yelled "Did you f*ckin punch me?"
 
Smooth and relaxed, I know. I’m good like that.
 
True to form, this troubled, tipsy bro responded back with equal etiquette: “yeah, you're in the f*ckin way!"
 
Guys, look, I can't control my height. But for the record, if you’re ever behind me at a show and can’t see, you can, like, ask me to move or something. Sadly for this nerd, there was no ask, only some pre-mature punchery and distraction from an epic LoG show.

As a proper gentleman, I realized that this situation needed to be de-escalated, so I politely reared back and gave him just enough of a push to get sucked up by the nearest moshpit. Like Boba Fett to the Sarlacc Pit or when King Leonidas kicked that one guy, I banished the knockoff Seth Rogen to the whim of the pit and proceeded to enjoy the rest of the show.
 
Let us all learn a lesson from Mr. Punch Dudes In The Head Guy: don’t punch dudes in the back of the head, especially when your back is facing a Lamb of God moshpit.