It was a couple days before Christmas, and at his desk, was a recovering Aidan who felt very grotesque. He had suffered a case of something so vile. “I’m much better now,” he said with a crooked smile. However, Aidan was stuck thinking of an article to write. “There is nothing happening in metal!” and he was kind of right. Before he lost hope on what to do next, he got hit up by his homie Drew, in strange written text.
“Hey man I got some family coming and I wanted to make a Christmas playlist, but throw in some weird metal Christmas songs. Do you know any?”
Aidan sat there, and thought in a very deep pause… “YO, I should recommend songs to headbang with Santa Clause!”
5) August Burns Red - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
To start this list right, you need something familiar and fast paced, and nothing is better than August Burns Red’s cover of the Christmas classic. If this track does not get you in the right “bright eyed” state you wish for, don’t worry, because August Burns Red has 2 Christmas albums! I am not joking. I guess this metalcore band from Lancaster, Pennsylvania just knows how to get into the spirit of things… or they lost a bet? Regardless, this short and sweet cover should be in everyone’s Christmas playlist this year.
4) AC/DC - Mistress for Christmas
If the last song did not do it for you, then this one should make you feel warm and fuzzy. AC/DC brought this little number out on 1990’s Razors Edge, confusing many folks that went through the album. Its very existence is still very strange to me, but I can’t help listening to it every winter season. Maybe it’s the Christmas bells in the background that accommodates the well synchronized guitar riff. Or it could be the fact this sounds like the X-rated Christmas classic that was never released due to its scandalous nature. All I know is that AC/DC delivered a banging Christmas track that can get everyone’s head banging.
3) King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas
Got some rotten little kids in the family, well King Diamond has an anthem for you to play! After Mercyful Fate had disbanded, King Diamond decided that the first single he would release would be… a Christmas song? Screw it, I’m not going to complain. This song completely shreds and has become a huge staple in King Diamond winter tours. The only way to compliment this song even more, is if you played this song while stuffing stockings with coal.
2) Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Wizards in Winter
If you were slightly familiar with metal Christmas music, it is probably because of this band right here. A group like none other, Trans-Siberian Orchestra brings the very heart and wonder of Christmas classics out in a new light. The live shows are like nothing I have ever seen before and musical talent is on par with the greats of past. If you enjoy this track of theirs, then please dive into the whole album “The Lost Christmas Eve” and experience new takes of the songs you grew up with as a child again.
1) Ronnie James Dio - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Let us put a perfect bow on this list and end with the one and only Dio! Accompanied by Tony Iommi, Rudy Sarzo, Simon Wright, and Simon Wright, this all-star group crush this classic! No other song can flawlessly end a night of cheer like this one. So grab the hot coco, sit by the fire with the family, and blast some Dio.
There we have it, ending on a good note. Aidan had finished the article, and was happy with what he wrote.
But then he saw the time and it was way past 5! “Oh snap gotta go… OH AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SLACKER & LIVEXLIVE!”